*This may be triggering*

I am going to be raw and real with you right now. I am not ashamed. I am strong. 

On Tuesday it’ll be six months since I’ve self injured myself and that’s the longest I’ve ever been before. Honestly, I don’t feel as if it’s real. Everyday is a struggle for me, not only to not cut, but to try my hardest to not even think negatively about myself. I don’t know why I’m depressed or why I really have hurt myself before. Sure there are reasons, but they never amount to the whole story. For me it wasn’t to just control the pain I felt, because most times I couldn’t feel a thing, but just seeing the after effect was what I liked. I don’t know why. These are my battle scars and I love them. I find them quite beautiful, actually. They are proof that I have survived and that I am a fighter. But I always need to remind myself that, “Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls. The most massive characters are seared with scars.”

“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” -1 Corinthians 10:13

I am not proud of what I have done, but I do not regret it at all. During my pain, God has revealed so much about myself to me. I am still in the healing process, but I will fully overcome with the Lord’s strength. He is so faithful and He is my source of peace and comfort. 

If you’re struggling with self harm in any form, give it to God. I know it’s so hard to surrender what you think you can control over to Him, but trust me you won’t regret it. You are never alone and you are not insignificant. Stay strong, beautiful souls.

-Summer